No one cares anyway

[1.0x] Talk all about your life. Rants are welcome.
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MrBeingcool
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Post by MrBeingcool » 2 months ago

I'm sick of this depression and the endless therapies that bring me nowhere. I'd rather just fucking kill myself and never, ever wish to be alive again. I already am sick of everything and feeling like i'm naturally dying. But guess what: No one cares about it.

You can delete this topic, trash it or pin it, idc. But this is the very, very last topic i'll ever make in my life.
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Princess MeowsePad
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Post by Princess MeowsePad » 2 months ago

I'm sorry that you're struggling. :( I guarantee that many people do care about you, though, myself included. Please don't do anything harmful to yourself. :(
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Juneberry
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Post by Juneberry » 2 months ago

I've been where you are, I know how easy it is to think of bringing the end on your own terms... But there are many people that care for you, whether you realize it or not. I was so happy to see your name pop up on the forum index! Incredibly so! I don't want to lose a friend I cherish so much that their name excites me... :c

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Post by Deleted User 142 » 2 months ago

The mere fact I’m shaking uncontrollably typing this should say enough about how I feel on this especially given we became quite close rather quickly and stuff... if you have to go I’m not stopping you because I can’t control your life nor fully see the picture, but trust me I’d feel like a big hole has been ripped open in my mind, even if we don’t talk as much as we did you were probably one of the biggest reasons my place and my own self control was doing quite well in the early days...

No matter what you have a true place in my heart ❤️💚💙

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Megan
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Post by Megan » 2 months ago

I don’t know you really, and I can understand how you feel. Depression can be horrible. But please don’t hurt yourself. It’s not the answer and you’ll just hurt those who love you.

Please stay safe.
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Yumika
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Post by Yumika » 2 months ago

Sounds like y'all have been seriously depressed lately. I can relate. :(

Life gets easier when you realize it's a bunch of bullshit, people come and go, and what you do with your limited time is the only time you can do anything with it.

It is proven that technology accelerates depression. The human mind was not designed to be hooked up to machines or make contact with artificial minds. A true, organic communication is honestly the only possible way to relieve depression and other symptoms relating to it.

So, you're still very young and still have time to make a change for the better. I won't tell you what to do with your life. I don't want you to do it, but I can emphasize with your feelings. You are a person worthy of a voice.

Hope to hear from ya again. Take care!
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MrBeingcool
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Post by MrBeingcool » 2 months ago

I'm really tired so my apologies if my spelling or grammar is bad.

The reason why i typed all that is because i just hate how i am. I'm a disrespectful piece of bullshit towards my mom, and i just don't want to live like that. Aside of all that, I also feel really lonely recently and the fact i missed out on so many things here makes me utterly depressed. Like, deeply.

I just hope i'll get to live properly or just die properly, no negativity or suicide included then. It's not that i want to die, but if my end is near then... I'll have to accept it.
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Post by Megan » 2 months ago

MrBeingcool wrote:
2 months ago
I'm really tired so my apologies if my spelling or grammar is bad.

The reason why i typed all that is because i just hate how i am. I'm a disrespectful piece of bullshit towards my mom, and i just don't want to live like that. Aside of all that, I also feel really lonely recently and the fact i missed out on so many things here makes me utterly depressed. Like, deeply.

I just hope i'll get to live properly or just die properly, no negativity or suicide included then. It's not that i want to die, but if my end is near then... I'll have to accept it.
I'm so glad to see you back. Try to hang in there!

I know how it can feel to dislike myself. Sometimes I do too. The only thing you can do there is to try harder, which is hard. Trust me I know. Just keep trying. And don't feel bad if you miss out on stuff here or anywhere. You're way more important. Just take care of yourself.

Please try to live for yourself. I know you said you don't want to go by suicide which I'm glad of. Just please don't ever consider it.

Just PLEASE take care of yourself. Love yourself. We're all awesome in our own ways.
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Yumika
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Post by Yumika » 2 months ago

MrBeingcool wrote:
2 months ago
I'm really tired so my apologies if my spelling or grammar is bad.

The reason why i typed all that is because i just hate how i am. I'm a disrespectful piece of bullshit towards my mom, and i just don't want to live like that. Aside of all that, I also feel really lonely recently and the fact i missed out on so many things here makes me utterly depressed. Like, deeply.

I just hope i'll get to live properly or just die properly, no negativity or suicide included then. It's not that i want to die, but if my end is near then... I'll have to accept it.
That all makes sense now. It's your mindset that's leading you astray. I knew it all along, so thanks for confirming this. I'll be able to work my magic now.

You hate who you are? Why is that, and who told you that you "had" to hate yourself? You feel empty because you don't know what you really want out of life. I'm sorry to say this, but that's something only you can decide. There is no pill that can stop you from being depressed and make all your problems go away. The only thing that can do all of that is your mind. You have to get inside your mind and confront your demons, no matter how difficult it may seem. Do you want to waste your twenties running away from your demons? Sooner or later, you'll have to face them and take them on. Life is not about coping. It is about survival. The only reason you are alive today is because you didn't die yesterday. This goes to everyone in the past, present, and future. The decision to keep hanging on is a part of facing reality and whatever its outcomes might be. You have good days and you have bad days. Deal with it. I've dealt with it. Others have also dealt with it. Life is what you make of it. I choose to laugh at it right in its face, rather than give a shit about trivial matters, and I've had BAD depression. Realizing that depression is just a one-way ticket to a slow and painful death, I turned away from that by finding meaning in my day-to-day life. It's not without its flaws, but I'm a lot better off than I was a decade ago.

Why do you say you are disrespectful towards your mother? What did she do to you to draw ire from you? I've gotten into verbal arguments with my folks, but I still love them. They put up with my nonsense when I needed them most. I was jobless and without hope, so if they didn't provide for me, I would've been homeless or in jail by now. I got my shit together in life at this point, so I feel a whole lot better about controlling my situation. Like I said, I'm not perfect (never gonna happen), but take it from someone who's been exactly in your shoes ten years ago. I was feeling unwanted by literally everyone. I cared too much about being a people pleaser. BIG mistake of my life! I stopped giving a shit and didn't lose sleep over some asshole I've met. The main reason they are assholes is that they were taught to be assholes. Nothing I could've said or done would've changed that. It's honestly not my problem. They put themselves there, so they're going to have to deal with that.

In my opinion, there is no such thing as "living properly". What does that even mean? I find that my interests and hobbies are completely normal and acceptable, but most other people would call me a complete weirdo and/or loser. I disagree with both of these terms. I'm not a "weirdo" because I don't feel weird talking about things that genuinely interest me. I'm not a "loser" because I earn and manage my own living expenses without asking for handouts. Why should I feel bad about what I do with my life? It's not YOUR life. It's MY life. I'm not sorry I'm enjoying it for once. I'm not sorry that I finally got a hold of my depression. I'm not sorry that I'm taking back all those lost years and creating memories that I can keep and cherish for real now. Finally, I'm not sorry that I cut off ALL the trash that put me in a dark spot all these years. Fuck them all! They can rot for all I care. I've moved on. I'm taking everything back and opening a new chapter of my life. I refuse to go back to being treated like the scum of the earth.

See, it's all a mindset thing. You can either learn something from my post or you can disregard it altogether. I have no power to change your mindset. Only you can do that. Once you address the central causes of your problems, you're making progress and ensuring the ability to "live properly". Forget about society and forget about the world, period. In fact, FUCK society and FUCK the world. Stop caring what others think about you. Learn to love being selfish (this term is often used in a negative connotation, but seeing that humanity in general IS selfish, there is nothing wrong with being proud of having a video game collection, owning your own business, and so on) and embrace your ego.
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Post by Deleted User 142 » 2 months ago

Yumika wrote:
2 months ago
I cared too much about being a people pleaser. BIG mistake of my life! I stopped giving a shit and didn't lose sleep over some asshole I've met
It’s easier said then done to stop caring about being like that without thinking you’re not appearing to give a shit about anyone else but yourself all the time :/

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